Trisha Pons

Made some changes in the house the past couple of weeks while redecorating; photo's moved or put away, and things put away. I took down the paper towel holder opposite the other roll. Abby loved to predict and bet which roll on the counter would run out first. For the past 39 months I've kept up this game of Abby's. Now it is gone. Is this supposed to indicate that I'm moving on in my grief? Right now I just feel very unsettled, and as always lost without Trish and Abby.

Been painting all day...can't help but remember the times we spent hours working together to paint. Trish always did the ceilings, she was so strong. Abby helped roll. Miss you both so much.

Trisha miss u everyday. Remember her calling me to tell me that 1 of her sisters had become a woman and she was doing alot of laughing, you could hear the girls in the background i think they were trying to get the phone away from her. Told her i didn't need that info but she thought i did and had to call and let me know. Sure wish she could call and give me more info on anything right now. MISS U LUVS U

Wasn't there a xmas i was home and we couldn't find the peanut butter fudge. Guess where we found it, yep Abby had it in her room. Think she went down to fridge after everybody was asleep. Loved her fudge. LUV U MISS U ABBY

I was talking to an old friend, Jill, who knew Abby from seeing her around Roosters and hanging out with Kris.  She was telling me some things that she remembered about her.  She told me that one day, two friends of Kris' (Nick and Keith) took Abby out for the day and they ended up at Pizza Hut.  Jill met them up there and saw that Abby had chocolate from ear to ear and she told the boys to clean her up before they took her home to Kris.  Nick said that the chocolate showed how much fun Abby had that day so he was leaving it there. 

 

Abby had so much fun hanging out with boys and she definitely loved chocolate so I am sure she had a blast that day.

 

Liz,

I'm sure this was the day that Austin was born. I remember that Nick picked Abby up from the hospital that day. Thank you for sharing Jill's memory of Abby...I can just see her with chocolate on her face from ear to ear. Remember how she used to raid the fridge when there was peanut butter fudge or buckeyes in it???

On my way to Chicago last week I drove through Indianapolis.  This instantly reminded me of the Kenny Chesney concert that I took Trisha to for her birthday.  We had so much fun eating dinner at Rock Bottom Brewery and then hearing Kenny live for the first time.  I wish we could do that again.

I will never forget our experience one 4th of July while waiting for fireworks to begin. A severe storm ripped through the area and the whole crowd ran towards their cars. Trish carried Abby I think, she was still pretty young. We were soaking wet by the time we made it to the car. Everyone was disappointed that yet another fireworks show was cancelled due to the weather, but we were soon laughing about our crazy dash to the car. Trish loved this holiday. She loved fireworks and cookouts! Abby did too. I could be wrong, but I think Abby slept through the fireworks one year. I mentioned earlier, that Abby could fall asleep anywhere. I miss them so much today.

I was sitting outside tonight watching the flames coming from a small table top fire pot when i was reminded of the the first summer after Trish and Abby were gone. That summer I purchased a firepit and on many a night our family shared this fire together with friends who came to join us. Sometimes I long to return to this period of my grief. You see, then I still felt the comfort of what I had grown accustomed to...having my children and grandchildren near me. You see, then I was still in shock and the realization of what life would be like without Trish and Abby hadn't hit me yet. You see, then I couldn't imagine the changes that would occur in my life...sometimes it feels like I lost my entire family overnight...everything in life I was used to...everything that mattered most to me.

Remember Trisha's 21st Bday at Chi Chi's? She had her first alcoholic drink which was a Pina Colada and the rest of that evening Trisha wore a smile from ear to ear. She was so giggly.  I also loved the New Kids on The Block bday party at gramdmas. Trisha was sporting her umbros and Nkotb tshirt with a hot pink scrunchy in her hair. So many memories but not enough birthdays! Miss you everyday Trishy!

The last birthday we celebrated with Trish was when she turned 27. Her party was shared with Austin of course since they share the same birthday, Dale, and Liz's graduation party. We had good food, cornhole, music, and dancing. At the end of the night Trish danced on top on the chase lounge! It was a fun party. Trish didn't live to see her next birthday. She will forever be 27. Happy birthday Trish. I miss you more and more everyday!

It just seems unreal that tomorrow is Trisha's 31st birthday and she isn't here. Our family will go to Chop House as we always do and we'll share are memories of her. The other day someone commented: "I'm sorry for your loss, but at least she is in a better place." The only place that a parent wants their child to be is right here on earth with them. I miss you Trish...nothing here is the same without you.

Abby loved playing games. In this photo Trish and Abby are playing Junior Yatzee with Mickey's, Minnie's, and Pluto's. I remember one evening when Abby was barely 3 the three of us played with the letter tiles in Upwords and made simple 3 letter words. This was the first time that Trish and I realized that Abby could sound out words! Abby enjoyed made up games as well. One of her favorites was a scavenger hunt where we wrote down clues to find the next hiding spot and clue. I think we played this not long before she died. Almost everything that Abby did involved writing. She loved writing messages and attaching them to cars and sending them down the hallway, and making signs. A sign she taped to her bedroom door still hangs on the door. It reads: Do Not enter or Destroyed By Abby.

We celebrated with Trish when she passed her state boards for nurse practioner not long before she was killed. It was so exciting to see Trish planning her future and realizing her dreams after years of hard work and studying. I will never understand why Trisha's life was cut so short...everyday I think that it is just impossible that she is gone.

Thought of you both all weekend...thought of Abbygirl when I saw Austin and Ava in the pool and thought how much she loved the water. Thought of Trish when the boys were tearing down the old play set and thought that she would have had the muscle to tear it down much quicker. Thought of Abby when Ava wore her shoes, and when Austin asked about her photos on the fridge. He wanted to know how new pictures could be on the fridge when she isn't here any longer...I just had an awful thought...I can rotate the pictures of Trish and Abby, but they will always be the same. I will never have new photos of them...I will never make new memories...this chance was taken away from us the day that woman ran the red light.

I saw a lightning bug last night and was reminded how much Trish enjoyed helping Abby catch them...sometimes I think she loved this summer past time more than Abby. I remember the first time Trish took Abby out to catch them. Abby wasn't even two yet, and Trish would catch them and put them in Abby's hand. I'm thankful that we have this on video tape.

Tomorrow is my last day with my kindergarteners for this year and when I see them next they will be big first graders.  This makes me think of my first day in first grade.  I was so nervous to walk to my classroom by myself because it was in a different hallway than my kindergarten class had been.  Thank goodness my big sister Trisha was a third grader in my building because she walked me to Mrs. Boggs' first grade classroom to make me feel better.  Trisha had Mrs. Boggs a couple years prior so I knew she could get me there safely.  She was already taking care of me and she was only in third grade.

A special place that Abby and I shared was Cox Arboritum. When she was around two years old I took her there almost every Saturday evening before we picked Trish up from Kettering Hospital. She loved listening for frogs and trying to find them near the ponds, collecting rocks, and watching the turtles. We always walked the same path and before long Abby could lead the way. We would stop to explore flowers, holes in the ground, to read signs, and to watch the geese. We always found something new to talk about, and to wonder about. I think I've said this before, but one of the things I miss most about Abby is our conversations. I absolutely loved talking with her and she always amazed me with her witt, her knowledge, her understanding, and ability to reason. One of Abby's first words were "What's that?" at the age of 9 months. It is just unbelieveable that Abby's life was so short. I feel so cheated.

Everyone that knew Trish understood how much she lived by routines. When we lived together my bedroom was next to hers. I've memorized the sounds of her evening routine. From my room I would hear her footsteps on the stairs where she always turned the hall light on that would shine in my eyes. I would hear the sound of hangers sliding in her closet and I knew she was hanging up her clothes, taking down her favorite t-shirt, sweats, and jacket she put on at night, and pulling out her clothes for the next day. Next she would go to the bathroom where I heard the shower curtain slide open and her clothes for the next day hung up. I would hear the sound of the cabinet open and shut and I new she was pulling out her make-up bag, her toothbrush and hair brush and neatly arranging it on the vanity for morning. Sometimes she went straight to bed, turned off the hall light and closed her door. Sometimes I heard her footsteps leading downstairs. I long to hear the sounds of Trisha's routines.

Mikayla and I listen to music in the car all the time on the way to school or home in the afternoon and the other morning the song "Old Time Rock and Roll" came on and I laughed out loud. Mikayla asked me why I was laughing and I told her the story of the time we went to Pizza Hut when "the girls" were young and Trishy loved this song so she played it on the jukebox they had there... that song played over and over and over and over on that jukebox! I can't remember now if she meant to play it that many times or she thought it wasn't going to play so she kept putting quarters in but it was FUNNY! Now Mikayla asks me when we get in the car "Can you play that song that Trishy loves?" I guess I need to get this song on a CD.

Today the music that played at the time of Abby's birth played during school nap time. This music holds my very heart. You see, when Abby was born I felt a type of love I had never experienced before. It was the most wonderful feeling...sheer, pure, deep love. Later after we brought Abby home I would hold her in my arms and walk with her until she fell asleep. On more than one occassion my time with her brought tears to my eyes at my realization of how much I loved her. I can't imagine that this beautiful, bright, fascinating little girl that changed my life forever is no longer here on this earth. It is so wrong.

Today I heard a bird chirp and its sound reminded of the way Abby used to whistle back at our neighbor after he whistled at her. It became a given that when Dick saw Abby he would whistle and she whistled back. I remember he really missed Abby after we moved, and certainly was upset by her death. I like to think that hearing this bird was a small sign from Abby!

Friday and Saturday nights meant that Kris was working late at Rooster's and Abby was with me. Trish got off work around 7:00. She always joined Abby and I and stayed overnight. Abby was always happy to see her Sports Buddy. Sometimes Trish let Abby ride her bike around the block, and many times we played games together. Trish and Abby usually made a bed for themselves at the foot of my bed. I would give anything to wake up and find Trish and Abby with me.

I loved going to the mall with Trisha and Abby and watching Abby zoom up the rock wall.  There would always be a crowd standing in amazement at the three year old girl rock climbing to the top.  The guy that worked there knew Abby by name because we would take her there almost every weekend there for a while.  After she climbed the wall she would always want to go get a cookie from the cookie company.  I miss those days.

My sister found a box of Trisha's things today. This box was packed after she was killed. I didn't see it until today. Somehow it was misplaced in my basement. I knew I was missing some of her things. This box holds so many items that explain just who Trish is. Family photos taken during our last vacation. Pictures of Abby, Austin, and Mikayla. Heart rhythm print outs. A Josh Groban concert ticket stub. A pony tail holder. A letter from the Ohio Board of Nursing stating that some documentation of her recent nursing degree in acute care nurse practiioner was needed. On the bottom was a phone number she wrote and a name of a person no doubt she contacted to straighten this problem out.

 

What struck me the most is the dates written on this sticky note found in the box. April 24th...May 8th...May 15th. Trisha's life was cut short by a woman who ran a red light. She never saw these dates because a careless driver was in such a hurry she drove straight through that light and into Trisha's car. This woman took away Trisha's future and Abby's.

 

Abby and I used this photo in a picture frame she made and gave to Trish for Christmas. It feels like yesterday that we sat together working on this frame. I think she was 4 then. On the frame she wrote, "i luv TriHSA". This was the time that Abby stayed with me on weekend nights while Kris worked. I remember getting up and trying to be very quiet so I could sip on coffee awhile before Abby woke up. No matter how quiet I was or what time I got up, Abby always came down within minutes. At the time I wished Abby would sleep a little longer. I would give anything to have this time with her back!