Trisha Pons

Thinking of Trisha and Abby today and how much joy they brought to so many people. 

Abby,

As your 18th Birhtday appoaches I remember holding you as an infant and feeling an overwhelming sense of love that bought me to tears! I loved you deeply then, and I love you deeply now! 

I have to believe that Trish & Abby reached out to me during my first visit in Chicago since our family trip there in 2003. I remember that day in the city. Trish had her picture taken in front of Tiffany's, we did some window shopping on Michigan Avenue, and ate Chicago style pizza before heading home. Abby had just acquired a new nicname (Abigail Marie Pickle Pons) at this time as she had eaten sooooo many pickles during our trip.

Today we partiipated in the Compassionate Friends "Walk to Remember" in Chicago,  honoring your memory and young lives gone too soon.....what a sereal experience seeing all the families who are mourning/remembering their children, grandchildren, siblings, nieces and nephews, friends. There were so many people on the 2 mile walk. I am so glad we got to be a part of this! You are never forgotten! I love you and miss you both so very much! ........................FOREVER IN OUR HEARTS.......................

This time of year I am reminded of how much Abby andTrish loved the snow. Trish was always the first one to be out shoveling, or building a snowman with Abby and Austin. I am reminded of Abby playing on her snowboard with her neighborhood friends, and I miss them both so much.

I was a RN with Trish at Kettering Medical Center (KMC) in the cardiac unit. We taught together at Kettering College and Trish also followed in my footsteps and became an Acute Care Nurse Practitioner.

While we worked together at KMC, I was helping Trish pull up a patient in bed and broke my thumb! I always know when Trish is thinking about me because my thumb will start hurting. I know Trish is in a much better place, but I always wonder about all the lives she would have touched as a Nurse Practitioner. She was a wonderful caring person and I miss her dearly. I'm so glad Abby has Trish with her forever in eternity. 

A day like today when the sun is shining bright and it is warm enough to be outside without the usual layers of clothing I'm reminded of the day just days before the weather turned cold and rainy again the week Trish and Abby died. On this particular day Trish mowed the lawn because we were expecting her co-workers for a cookout. Abby was surely out in the neighborhood playing with her friend Nick. I just can't get past the fact that one moment Trish and Abby were here doing the things they loved and just a few short days later their entire future was taken away from them when one woman ran a red light!!!!!

Now more than ever these words have meaning. I can't help but wonder everyday what you would be doing, and who you would be should your future had not been taken away in an instant. It really isn't fair!!! I miss you both so much!

Little notes of love found taped all around the house today :)

Mixed feelings tonight when I visited Ava's kindergarten classroom that was once Abby's room too. I was so happy and proud to hear about Ava's experiences in kindergarten as she gave us a tour of her room, but a part of me felt so sad. It feels like just yesterday when I visited this room with Abby for a family literacy night shortly before Easter. She had written letters to her Mommy, Aunt Trishy, Aunt Lizzy, and me which she passed out on this night. Abby's letter to me requested that I do a craft with her (creating with paper, markers, crayons, paint, tape, and glue was a favorite activity of ours from the time Abby was very little). I fulfilled Abby's request that Spring when we made a bunny Easter card for her mommy on the floor of my bedroom.

It was comforting to find Abby's photograph displayed on a shelf in the classroom where she spent her time away from home that last year; she isn't forgotton and I like to think that she is watching over the little sister she never had the opportunity to meet here on earth...

Kris discovered Abby's name yesterday on a memorial stone at Springboro High School...somehow seeing her name engraved in this stone brings me peace of mind...She isn't forgotten!

There was nothing unordinary about the day, except that both Abby and I were home from school because we hadn't been feeling well. It was a typical early spring day. It was cold and rainy. Abby was in my room using the computer on and off during the day. In search of certain Webkins she got on e-bay. I remember she spoke about the different prices and about needing a credit card. Abby also did some research on the Dicks Sporting Goods website looking for red baseball cleats. I spoke to Trish on the phone that day. Trish took Abby to her baseball practice. I think I must have dozed off because I didn't hear them leave, but I was awake when my whole family was downstairs discussing where they wanted to go for dinner. I went downstairs at some point and passed by Trish sitting on the stairs. Abby was on the couch by her mommy. I retreated back to my room, and a few minutes later Trish popped her head in to ask how I was feeling and if I needed anything. I could hear that the girls had made a decision about where to go and were getting ready to leave. Austin peeked into my room and said "I love you Grammy". From downstairs I heard my family call out "Bye mom". Moments later my phone rang and our worst nightmare took hold. There is no turning back and "what if's" change nothing, but I regret not having the opportunity to express my love for both of them! I hope they knew!

Five years ago today started out as a typical day-I went shopping for a new purse, Kris was probablyl using the swiffer wet jet, Abby went to baseball practice and Trisha was already concerned about dinner at 3 in the afternoon.  Trisha called me while I was shopping to ask me what I thought we would do for dinner and I all I wanted to do was get off the phone and continue shopping.  If only I could go back and have a phone conversation with Trisha about mindless things and go watch Abby play baseball.  I can't believe five years have passed when it feels like yesterday Abby and I were walking to the car holding hands on our way to Roosters...

Trish had to work so we saved Easter dinner leftovers for her.  Abby planned a birthday party for her stuffed rabbit "Bun Bun" received on Easter when she was two. We made decorations and signs for the event. I believe she gathered up the signs along with tape, and hung these signs around our neigborhood. I also think that some weeks later after she was gone I found that roll of tape and a marker out in the backyard. Later in the evening after Trish was home Abby so badly want to go up to her friend Nick's house, but Kris wouldn't allow her to interrupt their time with company. Abby got so mad and threw a large rock towards her mommy who then told her she was grounded. She eventually made it up to my room where she snuggled by me weeping and pleading that I ask her mommy to reconsider this grounding. This was the last time I held Abby close to me! Oh, how I wish I could hold her again. I would never let go!

Lots of Easter memories. Coloring eggs will never be the same with out Trisha. I would have my eggs finished and she would just be starting on her second egg. She took her time and wanted them to be perfect. I think you woudl have been proud of our Egg coloring this year. Ava got pretty creative with her eggs and they turned out beautiful. Austin could use a few tips on taking your time. I miss seeing your face and hearing your voice. I hope they have Easter Egg hunts in Heaven and you are hiding eggs for Abby. I miss seeing your smile and hearing you laugh on Easter morning. I miss picking up all your trail of reese cup wrappers. I miss you both so much!  

We've saved so many of Abby's writings...it seemed she was always writing something down! I found this photo today of Abby signing a birthday card for me at the age of 11 months! Oh, what I wouldn't give to read what she might write about today!!!

I came across a journal I had from 2004 that was called "The Write Mood" and there were different sections in it for the different moods we all experience. I had been going through some pretty hard times at that time in my life and most of my writings were done on the "Blue Notes" but then I found where i had written something in the "Joyous" section. I wrote the following on 3-4-2004....." Abby makes me joyous! She is so smart and has such a powerful little personality already. You never know what she is going to do or say next. The other day, we went to the "K" for ice cream and she had it running down her chin... I told her and she said "That's ok. I'm washable."....I also wrote on the same day...." She's made up a new game called Fly Butt Out that she adapted from TV (?). You have to run across the room and flap your arms like you were flying and then pat the other person's butt and then that person runs back across the room and around and comes back to pat you on the butt and so on.... i love her so much. She will have a brother in July. I wonder what he will be like. Abby wanted a sister to call Caroline." .......  That was the only note i wrote in that section but I'm very happy to have that memory to look back on because I had forgotten that one until reading it.  I remember Abby trying to teach us this game she made up! This journal could have been filled full of happy, joyous times with Trish and Abby from back then. I wish I had written them all down to look back on and spark these memories again! 

Trish-- Oh what i wouldn't give to be able to call you or sit and talk to you about everything that's going on right now!! I miss my best friend! Today, coming out of work, totally stressed out and worried if I will have job much longer, i looked up and there was a big T in the sky from the airplanes.  I couldn't help but smile and say Hi to you because that was a sign to me that you are with me always! I love you so much and miss you even more! 

FOREVER IN MY HEART--- LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU BOTH----3-16-12

Trish and mom were so close. Trish called her "Gram-Cracker", and she called Trish "T". There wasn't anything Trish wouldn't do for her Grandma, and vise versa. She would often spend the night with her, and they would talk for hours and hours! They had that special connection I think; the kind that happens with that first born grandchild. It is comforting to know that mom is with her now; and Abby too! Miss them all!

Always our sports buddies! I know you would be enjoying this weather today and would surely be outside passing a ball...miss you so much!

Found this necklace amongst Trisha's keepsake things. It is a tiny locket in which to place a note or prayer that is to bring strength from above. There could never be enough room inside the locket to say all that I have in my heart...all that I want to say to Trish, but I believe finding this locket is a sign.

Not one of us suspected that are time together was to be cut short. I'm grateful that we spent this time together as a family.

Trish loved this time of year; she loved giving gifts, baking cookies, and arranging them just perfectly on a tray for Christmas Eve. Abby loved eating them, especially the buckeyes. If we didn't keep a close watch she would have them eaten in a day! Missing them so much this holiday season.

Trish touched the hearts of many and is not forgotten. Recently one of Trisha's high school teachers reminds us of this...

Abby, Today would have been your first day of 5th grade! I know you would have been excited because of your love for learning and your desire to do your best. I am sitting here wishing I could see your face and wondering what you would have worn for your first day. Would it had been a tshirt and basketball shorts? I will never know but what I do know is you would have worn a smile on your face and you would have given me a goofy grin while waving as you stepped on the school bus. I miss you so very much and at times its so overwhelming that Im not sure how to continue on. Your brother and sister have done an amazing job of getting me through and making me smile each and every day. I love you my sweet girl!

Abby, I found a place on my  bedroom wall where you had printed your name! I love finding your things, your drawings and writings because it is a reminder that you were once alive here with me! I love you so much Abbygirl!